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He said, “I am Captain Canada, the Genie. I can grant you one wish.”I said, “No shit?”God Bless CanadaThis one is compliments of neubergerHere is one that should come with a warning to not drink or eat while reading.“As a joke, my brother Jay used to hang a pair of panty hose over his
fireplace before Christmas. He said all he wanted was for Santa to fill
them.
What they say about Santa checking the list twice must be true because every Christmas morning, although Jay’s kids’ stockings overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty.One year I decided to make his dream come true. I put on sunglasses and
went in search of an inflatable love doll. They don’t sell those things at
Wal-Mart. I had to go to an adult bookstore downtown.
If you’ve never been in an X-rated store, don’t go, you’ll only confuse yourself. I was there an hour saying things like, ‘What does this do?’
’ You’re kidding me!’ ‘Who would buy that?’ Finally, I made it to the inflatable doll section.
I wanted to. Jeeves flowed in with the announcementthat he had just loosed her into the sitting-room. I draped a fewgarments round me and went in.There she was, sitting in the same arm-chair, looking as massive asever. The only difference was that she didn't uncover the teeth, as shehad done the first time."Good morning," I said. "So you've got back, what?" I have got back."There was something sort of bleak about her tone, rather as if she hadswallowed an east wind. This I took to be due to the fact that sheprobably hadn't breakfasted. It's only after a bit of breakfast that I'mable to regard the world with that sunny cheeriness which makes a fellowthe universal favourite. I'm never much of a lad till I've engulfed anegg or two and a beaker of coffee."I suppose you haven't breakfasted?" I have not yet breakfasted." Won't you have an egg or something? Or a sausage or something? Orsomething?" No, thank you."She spoke as if she belonged to an anti-sausage society or a league forthe suppression of.
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